Marriage is hard work. Anyone who says otherwise has never been married. To make it work, it needs work. There isn’t one successful marriage that became this way simply by chance. If you want to know how to win your ex back and save your marriage, here are some effective tips that will give your marriage a fighting chance.
If you are staring divorce in the face, clearly something went wrong in the marriage that needs to be fixed. Divorce is one of the hardest things to go through and if it can be avoided and the marriage restored, why not do everything to make it work before waving the white flag. If you are asking yourself how you can save your marriage and win your ex back, here are some effective tips.
With a marriage in crisis and at the risk of separation and divorce, it is very important to get clear about what the exact issue is that has opened the door to divorce so that you know what you are up against.
In an ideal situation, the husband and wife should be willing to work together to restore the marriage, but if this is not the case in your marriage, it does not mean that you cannot take the initiative to try to resolve the issues in the marriage.
Waiting for the other person to be or act the way you want them to will leave you in a position of weakness. You can only control yourself and not another person no matter how much you feel that the problem is them. You can only change yourself and are only responsible for your actions but your actions can always motivate another person to change theirs. You have to be willing to take the initiative to fight for your marriage even when your husband or wife is ready to walk out the door.
When a marriage is disintegrating but one spouse is unwilling to give up on the marriage while the other is ready to walk out, he or she may become desperate in order to save the marriage. While you may be desperate to save the marriage, you should not let your husband or wife feel this desperation or tension as it will only push him or her farther away as they will feel suffocated by you while you try every desperate attempt to save the marriage.
You need to learn how to control yourself and not give in to desperation. Desperation never leads to positive results. Maintaining a clear head and remaining calm on the other hand avails much in the midst of a disintegrating marriage. Just because you are calm does not mean that you’ve accepted that the marriage is over. On the contrary.
When you want to win your ex back, it is important not to beg him or her to return to you. Be respectful of what your partner needs and feels. If it is space that they desire, give them space. A little space may allow them to come to their senses without feeling pressured to stay in the marriage by you. Occupy yourself with other endeavors, friends, hobbies, etc, during this time of separation.
If you have kids, try to maintain a level of normalcy during this trying time in the marriage so that they do not become scared or feel that it’s their fault that mommy and daddy do not want to be together any more. Let them know that mommy or daddy needs a little time on his or her own but still loves them. Make sure that family activities, extracurricular activities, etc, go on as normal even when your spouse is not as involved or refuses to be involved as a family.
You may want to let him or her to know that though you are agreeing to the separation, you are not agreeing to a divorce and that you still love them and want to work on the marriage. Marriage is about supporting and helping each other in good and bad times. While it seems that most married couples nowadays only seem to support each other during the good times and are ready to bolt out the door when things get tough, the tough times truly show what your marriage is made of and the depth of your commitment to each other and the marriage.
It is very easy to love someone during the good times but can you still love them when they are ready to leave you? When they say they never really loved you? When they are going through a midlife crisis?
During this trying time when you are trying to win your ex back, it is important not to get caught up in conflict. Your spouse may be simply trying to bait you so that they can have even more excuses to leave by blaming everything on you so that they feel better about the end of the marriage.
Avoid falling into this trap. Stop allowing yourself to get caught up in quarrels. They are usually about insignificant things anyway that neither of you will remember if asked what the fight was about a day or so later. Losing your temper will only lead to saying and doing things that you will later regret.
If you want to save your marriage and win your ex back especially with a spouse who is ready to present you with divorce papers, stop complaining especially about the little stuff. If there is a real issue, talk about it clearly and calmly. Communicate and avoid letting stuff build up inside you until you explode over any smallest provocation.
Marriage is work. There is no mistake about this. You will need the right tools and resources to help you save your marriage and get your husband or wife back. If you are looking divorce in the face and want to know how to win your ex back, you need this important resource that will give you step by step guidance on saving your marriage.